Skyflowers In The Twilight.

Why would you say that to me?
WHY?

I know I should tell YOU that what you said rings in my ears every day when i'm getting ready and making myself pretty and dolling myself up.... but I can't.
I just CAN'T.

And you probably weren't thinking.... it was probably really innocent.


You know what I really don't like about you?
You're just like her.
You fuck people over and you don't realize that int he end, you're GOING to make someone else hurt.
JUST LIKE HER.
It's so innocent.
It's like... why don't either of you know any better?
You do what you can to make yourself feel happy.... you're not thinking about the consequences that might come with it, though.
IT'S SO STUPID.
And might I add, selfish.
And why do you fail to look at an entire situation?
You both do it.
It pisses me off.
You BOTH just .... make me want to demolish you? I don't know.
People who behave like that piss me off.
Why are you being so god damn arrogant? You talk about how someone else NEEDS to know about what she did.. but you REFUSE to see what YOU'RE doing... because you just think you're so fucking great. You're young. you're immature. I'm young. I'm immature. But not the same extent. You are just beyond comprehension right now.
You're doign exactly what she would do in this situation.
I hate both of you right now.
I'd kill you both if I could.



You're not like me.
You're like her.

"Girls like me can shed your body, lose this extra weight.
We'll cut your throat if that's what it will take for twins to separate."





Yeah, really. What I lack in academics I make up for in human understandings and shit.
What you lack in humanity, you make up for in academics.
I'd trade a perfect A+ for the ability to treat people graciously.... any day.

I hate myself.
I hate today.
I hate everyone and everything.
I hate this LJ account that I keep for the sake of my venting-because apparently, I HAVE to write this crap online somewhere (I hate actually writing with a pen and paper anymore), to feel better.

I just... I'm so sick of chasing shadows.
I'm so sick of being "not as good" or anything.
I'm so sick of thinking that I find something perfect just to know that I'm being overshadowed by someone else who would compliment this perfection even BETTER than I would.

I hate that I've always been second best and that I always will be second best.
I hate that I let myself get robbed on focusing on myself for a long time.
I hate that.
I let myself focus on her forever, and letting her be who she needs to be, and never focusing on me and who I actually am.
I hate trying to catch up to myself. I spent so many years trying to let her be herself and find who she is that I really didn't even bother with myself. I just tried being someone else.
And now I'm not fitting to the new shoe I put on.
Now I'm just being something I'm not... and pulling it off really damn well.
Way better than she could have ever faked it, anyway.... because the one thing I do have over her is that I have that theatrical effect.

Except oh wait.. for some odd reason, I'm great when I'm a "normal" girl (as in, look as white and boring with boring hair and boring make up and boring boring BORINGNESS as possible) but she can be exotic and still be perfect....
Which means, I'm still second best.
Fuck, am I even second anymore?
Or am I just flat out losing this battle, falling behind, and losing all bets?
I think I'm just failing.


And it didn't help when you said that I reminded you of her....


Why am I always so inadequate?
Why is someone even more inadequate than I.... accusing me of being the more inadequate one?
MY lack of experience?
Lack of experience in WHAT might I ask?
Having a kickass life with an even amount of super amazing things to balance out and be just as great as the terrible things have been bad have made me someone, who, quite frankly.... if I were someone else, I'd die to be around.
Narcissistic much? Yes I am. I don't care.
I'm fucking awesome.
And yeah, I'll be fucking perfect, even if it's just to spite you.... and her.







And for the love of fucking god, if anyone shows another ounce of disrespect towards my appreciation for An Cafe, I'm going to SLICE you. I'm not asking anyone to LIKE them... but you damn well better respect the fact that I love that band, because if you've ever been in an experience where seriously, the only reason you even kept trying was because of a band, you'd understand.
If your life has never been so shitty, or if music has never been your release to that extent, you WON'T get it.
I mean shit. People who don't like to or listen to Bella Morte don't question me about it. They let it go. So why can't you just let this one go?!





I'm not some mythological fantasy.
And I am not going to fake being anyone's perfect little mythological fantasy.
And sorry if I'm weeabootastic just because I like Japanese Culture. If you haven't noticed, though, I appreciate OTHER countries and their cultures as well... and I am not so stupid that I don't realize that I was born in America or acknowledge things about my own country.
Sorry that my Japanese Uncle Kiyoshi got me into Anime when I was too young to develop a thought process so I love it. Sorry that he's a really cool relative who had impact on me.
Freaking WAH.
Sorry that I like Japanese bands. Now, I don't like bands BECAUSE they're Japanese, mind you.
I have heard J-bands who I HATE because they sound like SHIT.
Sorry that Visual Kei is appealing to me because along with music, I fucking love Fashion. And I love anyone who is willing to try something new and different with their fashion. It's daring. I love it.
And don't forget that a love for Theatre comes with a love for good production. With Visual Kei, they strive to make things look as perfect as possible.... I'm all about some flawless production on a stage.
So hip hip hooorah! Sorry I'm so godawful weeabootastic and for some odd reason, you just can't freakin' stand it.
Sorry you can't put the fucking past behind you and move the fuck on with your life.




And fuck corsets with long skirts and long flowing hair.
And just for the record.... it's RUDE to reprimand someone and make them feel like shit for doing what YOU told them was the right thing to do.

Hey guys!
I am making a new LiveJournal account.
This one is tied to too much of my random bitching about life.
It shows no production of my mind, at all.
So... I am going to keep this one up for the sake of venting all my angers.
My new account will be for.... better things?
I don't know.
Anyway!
Have fun!

NEW LJ NAME: SharleyRabbit

Of course.

http://sharleyrabbit.livejournal.com/profile


Thanks! Love you all! <3
-Sharley Misia.

"Some girls... they like to show off their beauty to the world. Others like to hide their beauty... because they want the world to see something more."



I'm the first kind, by the way. I like to look good any and every chance possible... because I think my image will portray a lot about myself.


Lately... the way I look has been very hit or miss. Or it's good at first, but it wears off as the day wears thin.
I'm not sure if I actually like the way I look without make up anymore.
Actually.. that's a lie... it's something about my hair or.... my bad skin...
I really need to take better care of my skin.
I keep passing out with my make up on....
and getting all acnefied.
Yuck.


I felt like I looked good today, though.
Not hit or miss.
Then I got home... and felt hit or miss again.
Thanks for that.




I think I should embrace my white girl features again. Blonde hair, no bangs.... all that goodness.
Or heavy black eyeshadow... apparently, I should ..... I don't want to write about that... or even think about it, actually.
I hate people who tell me how I should dress.
It pisses me off SO BADLY. Even if they're telling me to wear things that I would conceivably go for... it just makes me NOT want to wear clothing like that... because someone else says I should.... as opposed to what I'm wearing now... that represents who I am.

I can't dress deathrock and not BE deathrock.
The clothing you wear should be so much more than that....

Am I a bitch?
Maybe I can just say.... if you don't hate her... maybe you should have thought twice before starting something with someone else when you knew you couldn't end your previous thing on mutual terms.

Just saying. If it's so hard to let go... you could have saved yourself from this.
My ex's who I am on good terms with... yeah we broke up on mutual terms.
The others... not so much... don't hate them.. don't think they hate me... we just uh you know, don't talk anymore. Drifted apart.
Then again. I've only had three boyfriends prior to the relationship I'm in now... so who am I to give relationship advice to anyone?
Yeah, exactly.

Plus. I've never cheated, nor have I been cheated on.
I know that we'll keep it that way.
I'm actually 100% that those scores will remain.
... Who am I to place faith again?
How uncharacteristic.


I'm more fragile than I think.
I can't be strong for the both of us.
Your problems can't become my problems... because then not only do we share the same problems, but it builds a new set of problems for me because unlike you, I actually have estrogen... which causes me to be a lot moodier and more emotional than I like to let off as.



"If you lose your faith, nevermore will you believe.
If you lose all your desires, nevermore will you need.
And if you learn to stand your ground, there will be nowhere left to go."




"Girls like me don't talk about whose really in control... for when your mouth is open, we can see right down that hole.

..Can you not learn the distance, when we stand so close apart?

Girls like me are sick of being flesh they touch, but never feel.

We'll cut your throat if that's what it will take for twins to separate."







"Sculpt your nature within. I am your Pygmalion.
How hard it is to hold you... how hard it is to mold you to something you are not."

That's the one!
That says it all.

Playing Gamecube now!
Fuck my life!
Kthxbai! ;D

Okay. So there are things I want and need to do.
I decided.... I might as well call these my New Year's Resolutions!

1. Get a phone.
2. Get a laptop.
3. Overcome fear of driving. Get a license. Get a car.
4. GO TO COLLEGE. ....Okay, it has not been long enough for me to feel hellbent on it... but I'm just saying.
5. Travel more.
6. Go to more Peelander-Z shows.
7. Write more for Nippon Project... become their bitch and slave labor and become deserving of tons of interviews.
8. Come up with better ideas for American Cafekko BondS.
9. Back to the college thing. Decide between Theatre (acting or stage design) or Journalism as a major.
10. Study my Japanese more. I am SO SLACK.
11. Again, TRAVEL MORE.
12. YES. Go to college... because unless I'm in school... I might not get free flight anymore!
13. Unless I get a job at the airlines. .... Then it does not matter who I am, how old I am, or who I'm related to.... I'll have free flight.
14. Read more. I haven't read much of anything, lately.
15. Succeed in cleaning out Stacia's old room?
16. Am I just listing mindless crap now?
17. Yes, actually, I am.
18. How much is Pennyroyal Tea?
19. I don't need it yet. I just figure I should know for future reference.
20. EAT HEALTHIER. 
21. You know. Buy more foods and cook more or something. Take out Thai all the time isn't cheap... or healthy, really.
22. Eat more steamed spring rolls.... ddjglkdflkg *drools*
23. And steamed vegetable dumplings.... *YUM!*
24. Maintain a lasting relationship... as in, more than two-three months like my past relationships.
25. To defend myself. I have on;y been in three relationships prior to this one. One lasted only two weeks. I only count it because first time making out seems like something you should take note of.
26. Stop defending myself when I don't need to.
27. Get back into the habit of playing more video games. I miss Video games being a part of my daily life.
28. Stop spending unreasonable amounts of money on clothing that I won't wear more than once.
29. Uggghhh.... It's not my fault. Those shorts were really cute. I just wanted to be able to say that I own a pair of shorts.
30. Keep an active and healthy sex life.
31. OH! Work out more! Sheesh!!!! I should go crank up some music and dance right now.
32. Take care of my skin. It's nasty right now.
33. Stop going broke because I love my friends. I LOVE YOU BUT YOU'RE MAKING ME GO BROKE!
34. Stop blaming my friends for my bad financial situations. When the argument goes, "Hey I'll buy this for you!" "What? Sharley! I don't even want it!" "Ka-ching! Here ya go! Gotcha a gift!" ...It's really no one's fault but my own.
35. Hahah. Bak to the relationship thing. It's not about love! It's personal, now! I want to be in a long relationship just to spite anyone who says I can't!
36. I'm just kidding. I love David.
37. Stop going broke... not because of my friends, just in general.
38. Learn to cook more?
39. SCRATCH THAT. That will take waayy more than just a year!
40. I'm done.

41. Some of those I'm actually serious about. Others.. not so much.
YAY!!!!!!!!
Muffin time?
I wish we had muffins.
We don't have muffin FUUUUUUUUUUUCK I want White Cheddar Cheezits! .... So about that whole... eating healthier thing?

I have an addiction.


















So in a year... we'll see how many of these Resolutions I really fulfilled.
Call me superstitious.. but I'm really worried because I didn't eat black eyed peas and collard greens on New Year's Day.
Black eyed peas bring luck.
Collard greens bring money.
Maybe I should do that on Jan 9th.... 9 is my number. It's 2009. Soo.... best date to make up for it, right? >__<

LOVES!

-Sharley Misia.

I'm dependent. EWWWWWWW.
I'm DEPENDENT.


I'd never thought I'd feel so happy again.
But when I'm nto with him, I remember that I hate where I am.. I hate what I'm surrounded with, and I hate pretending to care.

This is so pathetic.
And mom just keeps asking me to do things for her and I'm like, "HEY BITCH!!!! Why don't you stop suggesting I take Stacia's old room and actually help me move her crap out?!"


I mean... I just can't function in my room right now.
there's nowhere to put ANYTHING.
My gramma's crap is in the closet... in the dresser.. in the random pieces of furniture... and even ON TOP of a vanity-that I don't use because it has all my gramma's stuff in it...

I'm living in someone else's storage, basically. So I have no room for my shit. I mean I'll move out once I know what college I'm going to.... or I'll just get pissed at the idea of moving and go to Comm College here... because it will be a lot cheaper... and I'm probably not ready for Uni anyway. Knocking out basic creds is probably the thing to do... I would take Spring courses but I'm going out of town SOOOO MUCH this Spring... it just seems like a bad idea to have to stick to a school schedule.


I fucking hate college.
No. REALLY.
I took Summer Session at NCSA 2007. It's a pass/fail course. I'm PRETTY certain I failed because I didn't show up to some classes and then we actually had like assignments (homework) in our Acting classes... I only turned in half of them. My insomnia was killing me. Stacia not having a life and having no friends and needing to hang out in my room until like 4 am was killing me... I blame that on her stupid fucking exbf who HATED all of her friends, so she didn't hang out with them like ever. Fuck Carlos. But it resulted in Stacia being stuck around ME a lot... and I felt bad because I know it sucks here... so I let her chill forever... and then classes at 6 am... I WAS DEAD.  I felt bad when I kicked her out even at 2 am... which is late anyway... but I can't do all the Drama classes on like FEW hours of sleep.... Dance, Singing, Vocal Training (yoga, really), Stage Combat, Improv, Circus, Text (where we just read, I forgot what that one was), and Acting.... it's A LOT of physical work... it's hard on so little sleep. Sooo I had... LITTLE sleep.... maybe if Carlos would have come home from drinking and getting fucked up at a decent hour... I wouldn't have felt bad for Stacia... and I could have gotten sleep... and I could have made better progress.
I know I can't just blame other people.... it's my fault for not just saying, "I have school, get out of my room. I can't be your best buddy right now. LEAVE."
But.... I also couldn't help but feel bad... she's my sister. Her life was SUCK and not even her boyfriend helped her with that.
I mean... I think my life is sucko right now... but my boyfriend still makes me happy. When he's there or when he's talking to me... i tend to forget that I'm a loser going nowhere.
Goddamnit.

Anyway. My point here is that IIIIII KNOW that NCSA Summer Session did A LOT for me (regardless of how well my scores actually were in the end) .... but since it's not marked on paper that I did well, then colleges won't give a fuck. To them, it's just wasted time, effort, and money... on my part, I mean.


Ugh. My SAT scores are fail. I'm not motivated enough to waste time or money on it again... plus I'll be out of town for the JAN SAT anyway. My GPA... is.... well respectable. 3.4. They need to change a grade from an F to an A, so that MIGHT change it? It's a decent GPA... would be better if I gave a damn about Spanish or if I gave a damn about Environmental Science-EASIEST class ever... 104 first semester... then the classroom got too cold and I went to sleep... also, she didn't care if I skipped... since it was 1st period... skipping was uhm, "okay" by me because all it meant was sleeping in... HAH.
NCSA was something I would have had good for me.... because it's a "respectable" school and all. One of the top art schools anyway.
I hate it. It's pretentious. And it's on the same street that I live on. And if I didn't know people from Summer Session there... I'd apply just for fun, to see if I actually could get in.... because even though I'd HATE it.... if I COULD get in.... I have residency, I'm in the same city, I wouldn't have to have a hassle moving.... and it's just so respectable. People fall at your feet if you go there. It's so disgusting. But no one could say shit about me being fail.... because "OH NO, SHARLEY'S AT NCSA.... That girl is ON TRACK!"

The really good people from Summer Session-the ones who actually LIKED NCSA a lot... scare the fuck out of me. There were really great acting people who just hated NCSA.... I don't know WHAT the difference was.. but they weren't snobby rude jerks.

*shudders* Ew.

I actually really can't see myself at an Art School anyway.





I'm only thinking about college so much because I'm sick of being viewed as a failure.
I don't really want to go.
I'm just sick of people... applying just to spite people... just to do something... because I don't know what else to do with myself right now....


The end.
Fail.
-Sharley Misia.

I think I set myself up for this feeling right now.


Yeah... I really did.

I got used to this... and fuck me.




I think I need some godamned sleep before this goddamn medicine starts to kick in.... i need to sleep through this shit.

That because I leave the music on so loud, I never notice that there's someone knocking at my door all unannounced.

What do you MEAN you were knocking at my door earlier?! All i heard was Aerosmith, and random sorts of dark wave and synth pop.
Tsk tsk.... if the music is on that loud and there's no beige Cavalier outside.. then just walk in and surprise me like a crazy murderer rapist.. until I realize that you're a friendly fellow... and you're not going to murder or rape me.

Ha ha ha....


I'm so tired.
Perhaps I should nap.
I have the house to myself since mom won't be home until like 10 amish... I have all kinds of hours (you know, like 12.5) to get things done.
I mean... you know... finish this godawful project.. do laundry... take a shower that includes shaving my legs .... dye my hair black because it's all faded...

So... can I do all that AND get a nap before mom gets home?
More... can I do all that and not be drained when I have to leave tomorrow?
If I manage my time wisely.
I wanted my long distance boy to see my hot outfit today (yay webcams!) but uh... I'll fucking go see him tomorrow. I'll just pack this shits, right?


I don't even know WHEN I'm leaving tomorrow.
I so suck at planning things.
Organization skills rule... well my room is a bloody mess right now. I tore it apart looking for that damn phone and I never managed to put it back together. But before that, it was fairly organized... you know... working with the awkward space I have and all.
But oh yeah... organization... CHECK! Planning... well, no not really.
T__T

*dies*

"Boy of the surge, compliance won't make you a man. Now you have discovered the secrets written in the sand."

You know. There have been times in the past what... two years? Something.
When I am kind of sad I left you.
Not because I miss you.
Because I know you were better off with me, and without me you're just rotting.
Then again... that's one of the many factors that broke us.
Your lack of ambition... your inability to strive to do things unless you had a lady friend in your life.
I shouldn't say "had"... because I'm pretty positive you haven't changed.
....
Sometimes, I wonder if you actually were going to do all the things you had planned on doing....
Or were those simply lies?
It doesn't matter.
I figure I must have had some sort of impact.... it took a lot to get rid of you.
I just never expected you to fall so hard in a matter of a few short months.
I never expected you to mean it.
We swore we wouldn't mean it form the beginning.... you went against your swear.
...Oh, not quite two years. But whatever.


I hope you stop rotting one day.
You're not a bad person when you take the time to be a good person.
Your main problem is your violent tendencies.... combined with your lack of ambition.
I wonder what you'd be like now if I hadn't left you...
I was making you better...

Whatever.
I hate this project of mine. Making a picture thing for my gramma for christmas. I have to finish today because I'm leaving sometime tomorrow.... when I'm returning has yet to be decided.
Mainly, I hate going through all the old pictures.
They make me think of things.
AND... I'm tired. Like fuck. I just want to go to sleep!!!!
Agh.
:(

<3

-Sharly Misia.

So I like how Republicans can claim to be super duper American hearted people... WHEN....


they whine and bitch about Gay Marriages.
Okay, so let's see...
You guys are Christians. I think we all understand that all those dickheads are part of the Christian religion.
They also claim to LOVE America SO SO SO much.


America stands for many different freedoms. One of which includes Freedom of Religion.
You can't  say that YOUR Religion says "Homosexual marriage is a sin" and then say that the laws of YOUR Religion are the laws that EVERY American should abide by. Perhaps not EVERY Religion is against Gay Marriage. And, as you may know, there are A LOT of religions in America.


If you force all people of all Religions to abide by the laws of your religion... then frankly, not only is your Religion becoming way more of a cult than it should be... but you're contradicting what your beloved country stands for.

America stands for freedoms. Whether everyone believes we have all those freedoms or not is another story. But yes, it's un-American to write out Freedom of Religion just because our religion says so.


And also... what about the mormons? Mormon men marry many different women and have many different wives. Yes, it's polygamy. but technically speaking... you can argue that all those women are married to one another because they're married to the same man. Sooo if Gay Marriage is completely outlawed... what do you do about them, huh? I mean... they already have the god-given right to lez out whenever they please (actually, that might be inaccurate, but technically speaking.. they are all married to one another). So so... what do you do? Punish them because they're part of a religion that disagrees with yours?


I mean seriously. I don't get it. Religion is a private matter. If you think it goes against your religion to marry someone of the same sex... and you feel all torn up... then uh don't do it? No one's forcing you. Or get a new religion. But don't get politics all involved and then go, "I LOVE MY COUNTRY" because you obviously don't.










and yes, they're all fucking Republican.
And they ALL say something baout how much they LOVE America.
Disgusting.

Whoever said that we need other people to survive was crazy and inaccurate.

We need other people to reproduce.

We are born alone. And in the end, we die alone.

Apparently, that's too complex for other people to understand.



And apparently, everyone thinks they know who I am when they really don't.
Riddle me this.
If it were so easy for me to drop my friends.... then why do I apologize like a motherfucker when I'm wrong and try to get them to come back... but understand if they don't want to?
Why do I welcome them with open arms when they abandon me for other bitches who talk shit about me to them... and then they get screwed over by said bitches and walk back to my life?
Why do I do everything in my power not to screw them over?


Stupid world.
If you knew how many times I couldn't kiss a boy or anything like that because a friend had a silly crush on that boy, or something similar... then you would stop having such low expectations of me. I swear... I'm not trying to be vain.. but do girls not trust me because I'm pretty? Shit. I think I'm pretty. I don't care. I'm not the prettiest girl in the world... but you know, I'm also not unfortunate.
I mean, don't sit there and say it's easy for me to drop friends because it's not.
It's just easiER when they're the kind of people who think a lot less of me than they should. What kind of friend thinks terrible things about you like that? No friend of mine... sorry if wanting people who are honest and true is really such a bad thing. I just don't want "friends" who think low of me... or talk up a small misunderstanding to everyone ELSE but NEVER actually talk to ME about these things. I mean shit. If you THINK that I'm screwing you over.... why don't you ask me before you go open your mouth to anyone else, hmm? Have I ever lied before? Oh then I won't lie this time.

I'm brutally honest.

It's a flaw or a simple perfection. Whichever you see fit. Call it what you will. But I don't lie to my friends.
Hell, I don't lie to my enemies.

I barely lie to my own mother.
I just don't prefer to talk to her about my sex life (or what is normally  a lack there of), but then again... who really does?



Oh whatever. I'm a pretty numb person. I guess it's easy for me to drop people because I don't sit and cry about ot forever.. i stand up and overcome it... except oh yeah, usually... they leave ME. So technically.. that's people dropping me... I just don't cry about it is all.


Or does that make people want to read between the lines and speculate to think that there's something bad about me?
No... I mean I'll admit that in NINTH GRADE (what does it matter anymore?) I was pretty rude and messed up. I mean, I was also a damn hard worker with perfect amazing grades, tons a jillions of friends, cool hair, cool clothes, cool music, cool art, jealous people... I had things going for me.... at that point in life... I felt like I knew where I was going and WHAT I was doing... constantly.. I was never confused like I have been in recent years.  I had goals. I had aspirations. A lot of that fell apart. But I mean... it doesn't matter because I'm picking myself back up.

But it was awkward. It was the first time moving was like... WEIRD. I moved a lot through my life. It never got weird. And being Texas was just so amazing because I was FINALLY someone worth being alive. When I'd go to school I wouldn't have tons of people mocking me or thinking I'm weird. I mean, it's not like I didn't have friends before Texas.. I did, and I appreciated those friends very very much... but the numbers were much smaller. And there would be times when even those few would backstab me. I finally had money to get something... but my neighbor "friends" stole that money. They had been whining about needing money because their mom wouldn't buy them candy unless they could figure it out on their own or something. I got money. They come over. Money is gone. I see them walk past my house with a huge ass bag of candy. Put it all together?

So when I moved to Texas, I got to leave that all to rot.
I'd go to school.. and usually if there was a problem it would lie within the school system itself.. and I'd have a bunch of people to back me.  It was nice.. because before that... if I claimed something about the school system.. a lot of fellow students would uhm... argue that I was wrong. I mean. I was very picked on before Texas. I even had people pick on me and make me do their homework for them in 6th grade. And then whine because my handwriting wasn't just like theirs. I knew I could have told teachers or something but damn, I was just freaked out. I felt like I had a pretty pointless existence. I did cry when I moved away.... I guess I wanted the few people I had for life or something... it stung even more when I moved back up here and some of those people just turned their backs on me completely. They found me through myspace a little before I moved back... coincidence much the timing they had? But once I was actually here.. it wasn't all sparkles and rainbows like they acted it would be...

Then there were people who reentered my life unannounced.. and it was VERY HAPPY. I was like, "OMG" because I forgot that I loved these people very very much! And that was very cool!!!! <3

But... you know... I got used to being hot shit, important, active, valid to all the lives I was surrounded by. So when I VERY FIRST moved back.... to a little conservative town with a bunch of rednecks and republicans...  it was just disgusting. I mean... I moved straight out of Galveston... which opposed all my morals. It's the junkiest, druggiest, hookeriest, crimiest, place I have ever lived in. I'm not kidding. I mean LITERALLY... I could look out my window and watch people deal crack and watch guys buy blow jobs. LITERALLY. We asked the cops when we first moved there, "Soo uh... if we see a drug deal and we call you then uh...?"
The cop said, "We have much more important crime to worry about. I mean unless the said dealer actually DOES something to you... then you know.  ... Lady, the drug traffic here is just more than we can handle. We have to focus on the bigger fish. ... By the way, you might want to take knife or a razorblade or something and slice the registration stickers on your car... it's very common for people to steal those here."


WHA?


It defied everything I was about... constant drugs, constant sex, gangs... all of that. But... people were still real. Part of that is what made me overcome my habit of only wanting drugfree friends, like myself... because uh... that was likely to not happen there... ahha. Which was totally fine... because I had really good friends there... and they never cared that I didn't do what they did... they just said, "Well wanna chill AFTER I...?" And it would be all good. People really respected my decisions and I just didn't care what they did. It was understood that I disagreed... but whatever. I'd support them in what they did no matter what, because they meant a lot to me. It helped me learn... really.

The house was just soooo gross. I couldn't take it. So my gramma let me move in with her...


It was just weird. I moved up here and I was weird because .... I didn't believe in God and my life didn't revolve around church... I supported gay marriage... I was a vegetarian (OMG WHAT'S THAT?)... and quite frankly, I was from a bigger place... TEXAS. Don't fuck with it. It's bigger than you are.

OH and don't get me started about all the kids who pretended to be perfect. This kid was talking to me about how he was getting high or something.. I said the word "weed" aloud... in ear shot of some teacher, staff, I don't know who she was.. she worked at the school!!! And he FREAKED. I was like, "What?" He was like... "Don't let them hear you!" ...Or what? WHAT WILL THEY DO? I really was very oblivious. See,w hat I like about Texas is people know you can't just slap a teenager on the wrist and say, "DON'T DO DRUGS!" and they'll actually listen.... they know that the damn kid is just going to sneak out and do what they want! If you suspend them from school... they'll just get an earlier start in their day on getting high. So you could say things like, "Weed" in ear shot of a staff person... and unless you actually HAD weed or could be proven high that very moment... then what are you doing that's so bad other than talking? I mean.... like the school would have really done much.... they can lie about deaths there, then they probably would lie about everything to make their students look more like God's Gifts to the planet.

Wait wait... let me state that I did end up making good friends with A LOT of people there. Friends who I never want to stop being a part of my life completely... even if they're not all entirely active as of now.. you know?

Anyway.... the kids there who weren't stuck up pricks or prudes were fucking CRAZY. I don't even know what this one guy was talking about every day.. but sheesh.. WTF? I think one day I got so sick of it I was like, "DUDE GO GET FUCKING THERAPY!"
That.... ended in another story of the fucked up therapist he already had... not that he wanted therapy or anything... but his parents forced him.... I don't know... and something about killing cats with explosive something or others under some bridge that he slept under when he was drugged out and his abusive relative kicked him out... i don't know... i felt bad for him... but then again... your life can't be JUST negativity, can it? It pissed me off because every time I tried to offer a solution he came up with a reason why it wouldn't work and I mean.... fucker was old enough to legally move out and stuff so long as he could support himself... my guess.. he couldn't support himself.

And then all of "God's Gifts" picking on the slightly weird fellow who liked science a lot. Okay, so his social skills weren't top notch. But you know... little miss, "LOOK AT ME I'M AN ARMY GIRL AND I'M BUTCH AS FUCK AND I LOVE BUSH AND I HATE GAYS AND I'M ACTUALLY QUITE UNATTRACTIVE BECAUSE I THINK I'M A BOY EXCEPT I'M GOING TO WEAR A SKIRT TODAY AND LOOK LIKE A DIPSHIT WITH MY TERRIBLY FLAWED MAKE UP SKILLS" had no right to treat him like dirt. I mean... I wasn't laughing with you, bitch. You were making sneer remarks to him and -because his social skills weren't top notch- he wouldn't catch it until the last second and you'd peek back and laugh "with" me but you never realized that I didn't think it was so damn funny! Really wasn't funny when he was grouped with us in Bio and refused to help your stupid ass. More power to him... it's a good thing I was smart and saved our damn group, though. Well, i was smart at the moment... I tended to not pay attention in Biology. That's another daydream for another time, though. But really... you thought he wouldn't notice you picking on him for what reason again? And you're God's Gift just because you're joining the army? Yeah screw you. But he was a nice kid... just slightly awkward in social settings. No biggie. He was nice... what more do you really ask for out of people? Greedy slobs.

And the just awful people who picked on others for having medical conditions? HELLO... MEDICAL CONDITION... THEY CAN'T HELP IT. There's nothing funny about picking on wheelchair guy who will never be able to walk again just because he's in a wheelchair... and if you think that there is then you need some sort of mind check. 






I forgot the point to all of this.



So I'm not the most terrible person ever... I'm just not all sappy and shit if someone else needs to be called out for being fucked up.
I'm not weak. I'll boldly tell you if you're out of line... or if you're just flat out annoying me... and I don't care... because someone needs to say it. Might as well be me. I don't really have much to lose. Scratch that. I have a lot to lose. But I'm willing to risk it all if I have to. And then kick some ass with some major bitch snake bite words to get it all back. ...I'm a bitch. I have the power to outwit anyone and make them feel like dirt. Good thing about me... I normally DON'T DO IT. I try not to exercise my ability to read people (most of which I can) in negative forms.



I have issues with people not understanding me.
I'm slightly warped... dark and twisted, if you please.
Things that should hurt... don't hurt as much as they should... or as much as they would have at one point in life... i don't know when that point in life was... after I moved up here. I know a lot of shit went down in my personal life in 10th grade and it hurt... it hurt bad... it made me cry in public a lot. That could have, in fact, been it. But I feel like there should have been a specific time, a point, an epiphanic moment of remarking revelation..... where all of a sudden, things just went numb and I didn't care.

Oh whatever. All that crap made me a lot stronger.


The church blamed me for almost ruining a marriage.. when all I did was blog about having a bad day at school and cried in the middle of gym class in front of everyone. Thank you Church.  I fully understand how my bad day was the result of a broken marriage. You know... that makes PERFECT sense to me... I see how you uhm.. care about other people more than you care about making yourself look good, or the money.



Silly simpletons ask me why I could give a shit less about Fake Christianity. Turn your religion back into something that offers faith and less of a cult... and maybe I'll respect you. But the people of the religion are the people who make the religion...




Actually. Let me emphasize on this a little...

NEW BLOG.

This story is four years old... a story I'm tired of living....

It's time to close the book and start writing a new one.

I need to wield my own pen and form my own words.

And I need to make this clean.... no secrets etched between the lines.

Actually... it's time to burn this book. And when the fires smoke... don't even let the smokes and ashes touch you... or try to reach between your fingertips... don't breathe in the soiled airs of this story's end...

Let. it. die.

Don't write yourself into the pages with it... Don't let it open up and speak to you a final word... Don't let the words continue to come to life... and don't believe all the lies this story has read to you....

Fantasy child. Fantasy star. Fantasy baby. Smiles written in the moonlight. Who will  you choose? What will you do?

Turn your back on all you've known?
Find safety in your own nostalgia?
Lie to your savior and sing the same song for years to come?
Water seeds of change and spark a new fire?

Burn the book, baby doll.
Admit that it's over.
Admit that it was never there.
Admit that you created a perfect creation, figment of your imagination, fantasy fantasy fantasy...

Write new pages that you descend... clever words... happy life... hands embrace... angels sing... live together... die together... smile together... gazing into one another's eyes... no secrets, no hidden lies... just eternity...

Awaken from the dreams you write.
Word for word.
Play by play.
The show is over and you're still in character...
Falling for the man you created by your own hand, sculpting his being with your own pen.

But at least you closed the book.

This new act is much better.... more fitting... more suiting for you you are now.
Because you can't sing songs that live within the past when change is beckoning and you're not who you used to be.
You're a brand new girl in a brand new day.
And it's almost a new year.
Will you resolve to form a new heart?

Will you take a step back in time... oh, it's so unhealthy. Nostalgia... reminiscent for things that never existed... traveling back in time and trying to hold on to a figment of your imagination.

You know that if he really cared... he wouldn't have taken four years to say it.... or maybe he's just like you... and can't find the courage to time things right and say things that need to be said before the chances slip away.... maybe he's just like you... and what does that say for the both of you? Or are you actually going to leave this ghost to rest?

A new day... a new day... a new day...

It's a new year....
Children grow up.
Ties are severed.... but new loves are formed.

And like I said.... change is beckoning... not only that.... but you're ever so evolving and adapting to something new about yourself... how can you possibly abandon the chance for a new story? The past always dies... the present is where we truly live. You can only touch the things that are presently there with you. You can not physically embrace a memory with your fingertips... and it will not feel warm or comforting or even pleasurable. Even if you were still able to relive old moments so vividly... you can never truly live those things again. Even if your mind were to believe that things are how they used to be.... that's just your mind lying to you.... sure, it might keep you sane... but that still means that your sanity is a lie.

So resolve this.
Forget the past and take a step forward.
That goes not only for you, but for him as well.

If you believe that you can achieve perfection... then you can.



















-Sharley does not like estrogen. Nor does she like it when her emotions become "poetic" or something.
Sigh.
I feel better now, though. Thank you internet blogging systems for letting my fingers control my mind and release these thoughts in a concrete manner.

Hey everyone!
I don't know why I'm using my LJ for this.... my LJ is the deadest thing known to man.

Anywho.

There are a lot of reasons why I need to move away, but yeah, I need to move away.

So these are my conditions for people I want to live with

-If you have a crush on me or something, I won't live with you.
-CLEAN people. I don't care if you're a little messy, but if you're the kind of person to let the garbage pile up or never do dishes-I mean EVER- or just have piles of your dirty clothing all over the place.... then NO.
-Please appreciate something in the Japanese Culture. I don't want a student teacher relationship with my roomie where I'm teaching you about Visual Kei or "Hair-a=uh-jew-koo" or Anime... if your world has nothing to do with Japan then just NO. I can't stand it when people ask me, "Why are their eyes so big? (anime)" Or "Why are you listening to that band? You don't know what they're saying..." Or "That guy looks like a girl. Why are you listening tot hat music?" Or "What are you wearing? This isn't a circus."

I MEAN LE HELL.
So as much as I love my friends who are like metalheads or just your normal people.... I seriously do not want a student teacher relationship with my roomate... Just freaking no.

AND NO JUNKIES!!!!
Take your herion addiction elsewhere, thanks.


Fucking Winston-Salem... you guys are idiots. AGGH!

I get to do an interview and I'm excited and nervous and my life feels SOOOOOOOOOOOO awesome right now!!!!!!



*giddy giddy happy jump jump traaaa-lalalaaaa!*

These are the things I don't speak aloud.... I say them through my writing... and in person I might speak through my eyes... or maybe I'll avoid the subject and that will tell you everything you need to know... but if you're curious, then read this... because I can't manage to make my tounge form these thoughts.




I have to reflect on my false vanity and conceitedness sometimes.
Am I an extremely fake person? My two most obvious quailities are my vanity and my conceit.

But I don't think I'm gooad at anything. I think I suck at everything. I've finally talked myself into majoring in Theatre... because it's what I really like doing... but I know I suck at it. I suck at singing, even after being in choir classes from 6th-12th grade. My experience in the Visual Arts Field (Painting, drawing, sculpting, etc) is only mediocre. I can't cook. I try to write, but I'm not a good writer. I have my own fashion style, but I can't execute my new ideas well at all. I suck at sewing. I'm just not good at anything, really. It's how I really feel, actually.

So girls like me... we can be pretty if we try. Well, sort of. I only think I'm pretty because everyone else says so... and because to common eyes of people I'm like some slab of meat for people to take a bite out of and pass around. It's sick. But I take advantage of that, too. Which is sick.

In fear that no one will like me for who I actually am... I do my damn well best to make sure I look cute. I do my hair, my make-up, coordinate pretty outfits... and never let the world see me out of this skin I have made for myself. I don't think the world would accept me for who I am.. so I try to look good. You know, shallow amusement that I am awesome.

Friends often tell me that I have no confidence in the things I am good at.. and tons of confidence in the things I suck at. I rely on that for faith that maybe I don't suck at all the things I think I suck at but I want to do in life. It's the faith I have that maybe I can succeed in life with the things I really want to do (and the things I really want to do are the list of things I suck at doing at the beginning of this blog!).

I hate the person I used to be.... I mean, I am grateful because I have learned to be a better person... but you know.... I still hate who I used to be. I do my best to be good to anyone and everyone now.... I help people as much as I can and I try to make them smile... I try to give them advice on how to fix their problems or I share my point of view on their problems hoping to comfort them... it's a reflex to let people borrow money if they need it and I'm not broke already... I really do my best to be good to people. I love people. I don't want to hurt anyone. And by now, it seems like the good things I have done should outweigh the bad things I have done... but I still can't truly accept the compliment when people say that I'm nice, or that I'm a good person. I will probably never truly see myself as a good person. I'll always just think I'm a bitch. That's my fault, because I'm so honest. And because I have to hurt people to be honest with my feelings... people who I love and care about.... I have to hurt them... because I can't love them back.. or because I can't help them.... No matter how much I want to.

I get jealous of all the people with real friends.. because I know most people who see me are attracted to me because I'm cute... that's a false sense of admirement in itself. But, I'm guilty of doing it to other people, so I shouldn't whine.

And I know my friends are real friends... I know that and I love you all dearly. <3

I get jealous of all the "un-pretty" girls who have steady relationships.... because it's true that when people love them, that it's real. Most of the time... relationship wise... people just like me because I'm cute.

I know I put myself in this position... but it still hurts. And no one seems to understand how much it hurts when I try to talk about how I'm always single and they say something along the lines of, "But you're cute. Anyone would want you if you'd just go for them."
Yeah.... because I'm cute. It hurts to know that most guys don't view me as much more than a whore..... and I have no idea why guys make this assumption about me.. because I'd admit it if I had a slutty history (because I'm painfully honest)!!! But I really just don't, it actually made me smile when one guy was finally able to guess that I'm pretty sexually inexperienced. Most just guess or assume that I'm a whore.... godamnit.

And then I have zero confidence in doing anything. I'm freaking out filling out my college applications. I want to major in Theatre. So I asked my old teacher if he thought I'd do well.... I wrote an awesom letter and then explained how it wouldn't hurt me if he said I was bad, because we all know I can handle constructive crtiticism... you shouldn't take Theatre if you can't... And uhm... he has faith that I can do anything I want to do... but more importantly... that I'd do well in Theatre. That scares me. I have no idea if I'm actually good at anything... and I'm always too scared to try out for things because of fear of failing. Which brings me to my good grades complex... I have to be good in school.. I mean one of the best in my class (Commonly, THE best in class)... or I'll get depressed and think I'm worth nothing. So I'm scared that when I go back to school.. everyone will be smarter than me. I don't give more than I have to though. Unless it's something i actually do have confidence in. But if no one volunteers me for help, I'll often hold myself back from doing things I realyl want to do.... I just never think I'll make the cut for anything in life... I'm just a failure.

So that brings me to this.... does this all make me fake? Everyone is probably fake to an extent...
But if  I'm known for being a vain conceited bitch... and I know that this is just a nice mask to cover up my fears... does that mean the largest component of my being is fake... thus making me non-existant?

I mean... on the other hand... I am very honest with people... brutally honest.... I don' t lie... I just don't lie.... but all of this kind of MAKES ME a lie, doesn't it?

I dreamt myself up. I'm a figment of my own imagination. I made a pretty girl who can't do anything up. I imagined her and made her come to life, but she's not real. I'm not real to you, either. I'm just a fantasy.

I should be able to reflect on the things I have done... I should be able to reflect on what I can do.... but I don't think I can do anything... I don't think I have done much of anything, either. I feel like I'm trying so hard to "Do something" and to "Be someone" but I'm getting nowhere.... but then again, I should stop running away... and just becaus eI should stop running, doesn't mean I will stop running.
I hope I fade out of my reflection in the mirror.

<3

-Sharley Misia.
This doesn't even justify how I feel inside.... this is terrible.

How do we get from point A to point B?
One day you're innocent, and there's nothing but life...
The next day, you look int he mirror, and it reflects all the years in life you spent doing this or doing that... and back to your childhood... when the only things that mattered were thing like... "Am I getting a bike for Christmas? I wonder if the cute boy in class will share his crayons with me..."
And what actually reflects the future?



I'm pounding my head against a wall.
Why couldn't I have been born and grown into being an unattractive girl? At least when people like them it's REAL.
I mean... I'm not blind. I'm good at reading people, so I know when most people who only like me for my looks really only like me for my looks. I'm NOT stupid.

However... that doesn't mean I like knowing that people only like me for... fuck.
This blog sounds stupid.

Pretty Girls don't have easier lives than you unless they exploit themselves for their looks.
I, on the other hand, don't want fake accomplishments... along with fake friends or fake boys.
So whoopdie do.
Life is still just as hard for me as it is for you. And if you want to factor in ALL the fucked up family and finacial issues, then my life might just be worse than yours.
HOWEVER, I only bitch on the net... I go out in public with people, and you would never guess it... because I still want to enjoy my life. You know... as opposed to being sad and bitter and obnoxious... because that's just stupid.

La la la la la la la la la la!!!!!!
^__^



I love you computer. I can be a sad person on the internet so that I can be a happy person in real life!!!! YES!!!!

Blah.
Screw you.

-Sharley Misia.

"Girls like me are sick of being flesh they touch but never feel..."-TSN.

People.... who I could love if they would just be true to themselves for once in their freaking lives.
So really. Stop feeling so special. Because honestly.....


Actually.


Nevermind.


There's something more important that I need to focus on.

THANK YOU. <---- You know who you are. You know what you did. I am very grateful. Thank you so much. We never talk anymore, but you still got my back. Thank you thank you thank you.




And there's another thing I need to focus on.
And it's how there's going to be a rape party!!!
...No.. that's not something i should joke about... no....
being an adult sucks.
And you know what I just realized?
I DO have people who i could call at like 2 am and be like, "Hey let's do it" and they'd come to my house like BAMMO!!!!
.......I mean, seriously. It's a good thing that I have pride and stuff... or I'd be dialing bitches up like a mad lady!!!!
But.. uhm... yeah......


Hahahhaha!!! That's funny. I potentially have a little black book. Hahahaha!!! ^__^

I'm going to take the SAT....
and then apply for colleges for the Fall. IN A YEAR.
But I might take a class or two at Fo Tech this Spring.. if I feel like it.

AND IN FEBRUARY!!!
F.SIZE.FREE is coming to America!! And I'll go see them!! And hang out with Eiji and Naoki!!! Hahahahah!
Eiji talks to me on MSN now. I like F.size.free
THEY ROCK!!!

And also... I'm actually going to learn to play keyboard... I just remember that.... since I was on the subject of music.
I HAVE a keyboard... i need the plug thing.. but yeah. I'm totally going to learn.. so i can play and sing and do something musical while dressed cute as fuck.

So yeah.
And I'm going to resist my potential little black book right now... even though one of them is very obviously awake... and poking at me on MSN... and uhm.... goddamnit. I actually think I like someone right now so I can't potentially be a whore.
I never actually AM a whore... but I think about it a lot.
.....

>___________<

Sharley, you are lame.
Stop being a good girl. Sheesh.
Sigh.

I actually like someone... omfg.
OMFG.
Well, I think I actually like him.

Whatever!!!
Just rambling.

When the ONE person who you know IS your friend.. has the hugest crush in the world on you and claims to be in love with you or whatever!!!
I mean. Joe doesn't care when I complain and be a bitch... he still knows that I'm a good, decent hearted, person.
Joe doesn't give a fuck when I steal his food.
Joe doesn't care.
Every time I think I'm a bad person.... he knows that I'm a good person and makes sure that I know it.

But JOE.... is in love with me. If I'm on speaking terms with JOE... then he constantly drunk dials me all stupid and in love.

And JOE is one of the ONLY people I can talk to who doesn't just HEAR what I'm saying.. but he listens.
I have fun when I hang out with Joe.
Who sends me drunk MySpace messages that make me want to puke my brains out because ...Sharley doesn't fall in love, you guys.
I don't love.
It's something that won't ever happen.

So I can't love Joe back. I mean. I'll never love Joe back. I mean, not even if we were reborn as caterpillars or something, I'll never love Joe back!!! ... But he's a good friend.

That fucking asshole.
FUCKING ASSHOLE.
Worthless, piece of shit... who NEVER just does the easy thing.. because EVEN the easy thing is TOO MUCH WORK... stupid, fucking, lazy, worthless, asshole.

One of my only real friends.. who I keep telling to fuck off .... because he's in love with me.. and that disgusts me.

Goooooodddd daaaaammmnnn iiiittt.

I bet if we were on speaking terms... Joe would at least try to bring me something to make me feel better about being so damned sick.
You lame son of a bitch. I really hate you.

I'm so upset with you right now, China.
I bought these "Potato Thread" noodles. I was looking for the really good instant Ramen that has the tofu with it and stuff.... but I couldn't find it. So I decided to try something new. I also usually don't LOVE Ramen.. I was just in the freaking mood for it. So if I'm going to purchase instant noodles... it will be the good stuff from the Asian Grocery!
Well... This Potato Thread stuff is made the same way as Ramen. It has seasoning packs and stuff, that you mix with the noodles, just add water, and let it sit for like a minute or whatever and WHAMMO!!! It's done! Taa-daaa!
However, it came with like... four packets of stuff to add in. The spicy packet smelled AMAZING. The nuts and herbs packet smelled pretty damn good, too. The oil pack smelled like death. It made me want to choke. The random spice packet, that looked like salt, but it wasn't... smelled.... awkward... bad.
Also, the noodles themselves... smell awful.
When I opened the whole package, I was having second thoughts about even cooking it.

So at first, it was okay. I put in just a LITTLE of that nasty oil. I put in ALL of the nuts and herbs, and ALL of the spicy packet. Then I added half of the salty whatever it is packet. It wasn't SO bad... it smelled terrible.... but the taste was decent... I felt like it could be better. So I tried adding more of the salt-looking packet... and it tasted awful. I tried to balance it with more water. Still bad.
All in all, I can't finish this food.
It's REALLY UPSETTINGLY BAD.

Which sucks... because it's pretty spicy and perhaps if I had just left it at "decent" but with a liiiittle less of that salt-looking packet, it would have been better. But there's nothing I can do now.

It says it was manufactured in China... it looks Chinese.
I don't know.
I'm really pissed right now.

Maybe the original flavor will be better... this was "Sweet and Sour" so yeah.
I think I'll stick with the Orange and the crappy pizza I have in the fridge.

I'm addicted to those Crappy fucking Tostino's pizzas.... they're cheap.. and terrible... and I love them.
... I love A LOT more than this Potato Thread stuff.... which could be good if I knew how to fix it.
I also quite enjoy the peaches and oranges we decided to buy. For reals.

I wish I had some real Chinese food right now.
And some cute cakes.
Which, by the way... I'm sharing cute cake with a cute kid in my future, and I'm excited!
^__^


-Sharley Misia.

Hey guys!
I help moderate American Cafekko Bonds on MySpace!
We are a new An Cafe Support group in America!
^__^

Click www.myspace.com/americancafekkobonds for our myspace!
Please check us out!

The following is the original post I made in our MySpace Blog!





"Nyappy Hello Everyone!

An Cafe has put up an Official Merch Store that serves Overseas from Japan!
Yes! That means we American Cafekko can finally order their Official Merch off of their Official Website!

Click HERE to view the items we can purchase!

Here's the catch! They have a $40 flat rate for shipping!
You may notice that most of the items cost less than $40 themselves!
Crazy, right?




So here is how we want to help you!

- Let us know what you want!
- Send us money for those items!
- Send us an extra $5 to help pitch in for shipping!




It's all in Yen, so click THIS for a currency converter!

We are hoping to put this order in by Oct 15th!

Fill out this order form and send it to our email cafekkobonds@hotmail.com

Name:
Payment method (paypal, money order):
Amount of money sent:
Items you wish to purchase:
Mailing Address:
MySpace URL:

Send us money to our PayPal at
cafekkobonds@hotmail.com

WE DO ACCEPT MONEY ORDERS!

Once we have received all items, we will need your mailing addresses so we can then mail your items to you! For privacy purposes, please do not post your address as a blog comment! Thanks Nyappy!


!! Keep in mind: After placing the order, it takes up to 45 days for delivery !!



STAY NYAPPY!
-American Cafekko Bonds"




Since I just copied and pasted the post from MySpace.... here are the two links you'll find that don't work!
Thank you!



An Cafe's web shop to view the items you can purchase:

www.official-store.jp/ancafe-en/


Currency Converter:

www.xe.com/ucc/